Whispering Shadow

Though the Time Machine in the H.G.Wells' novella may still be a distant reality, I have managed to discover its not-so-close substitute in the form of a b-school. It seems just yesterday that I landed at MDI, fresh and full of apprehensions about what the coming few months are going to throw on me. I have become one-sixth of an MBA since then, I have given 14 exams and 28 quizzes in the process, submitted around half a dozen projects and haven't quite realized where was it that the learning has happened, though I am certain it has. It is as if all the actions were involuntarily performed by a unknown side of me. What has happened more consciously is that I have been promoted from the nocturnal creatures to a qualified insomniac. Seniors say if you are sleeping too much, you are not making the most of your time in a b-school, which I partly agree with. Say for instance the last week from Monday to Friday, I slept for 4,5,3,4,2 hours per day respectively everyday. And sometimes ...

I don't know why I am writing this on my blog. It was 10:15 AM. I was in such deep sleep that only a canon shot could have awakened me. Or so I thought, until I was awakened by the ringtone of my cell-phone. I cursed the caller. Someone would have to be cruel to awaken a harmless soul from his sweet slumber. I heard a familiar voice. Once my brain had finished its daily booting routine, I managed to identify the owner of the voice. It was MS, my classmate and friend. I don't remember which language he spoke in but what he said vaguely translated to "Are you not coming for the lecture?" I told him that I was. I reiterated that the lecture was only at 10:15. That's when he broke the news to me "It's already 10:15." I went like "Oh F***, not again." Had it been any other phase of my education, I would have bunked with pleasure. My philosophy used to be "Why put in an effort in waking up for a boring lecture which again puts you to sle...

On my trip to Bangalore, I had gone out on a walk with my maternal grandfather, or Nana, as I lovingly call him. Most of the time he was feeling his way along the road. Feeling because he couldn't see. He developed Glaucoma a few years ago after a stroke and ever since his vision has kept degrading reaching a figure of 25% of normal this year. He was also not able to recognize the sound of approaching vehicles since he couldn't hear their engines rattle. He is deaf in one ear and partially deaf in the other. To illustrate, he would not know a truck is approaching him till it is around 10 feet away from him. Despite his health constraints, he has never missed his 5 KM morning walk in the past 23 years that I have known him. Of course, the walk I was on with him was not a morning walk since my morning happens a good four hours after his. It was just a stroll to the vegetable market. We reached a road crossing. It was a two way road with three lanes in each direction separated by ...

Me: I am tired. Myself: No, it is just the October heat. Me: But it never happened to me before. Myself: Yes, sitting in front of the computer in an air-conditioned office without any exercise can do that to you. Me: I should exercise! Myself: I have heard that one before, more than once actually! Me: I think I will wake up early tomorrow. Myself: LOL. Me: I will. I am going to sleep early. Myself: Just to exercise? Me: No. I have to study too. Myself: Oh yes, I almost forgot to remind you that your big exam is less than a month away. Me: I haven't forgotten but I have just notbeen able to make the time. Myself: It is convenient to make reasons. Me: Ok, I know I have been a loser. Myself: But it is not too late. Don't give up in the  last lap. Me: I am trying. Myself: No, you are not but you should. I know I can! Me: Oh, in all this hopelessness, I have something to look forward to. Myself: Yaay, we are going to meet our parents but is this the right time to go ho...

“Woaaaaaaaahhhhhhh” I hear a loud roar. And guess what, it sounds like me! That’s not all. There’s also a tingling sensation in my belly. I’m free falling. I never reach ground zero though. It’s like a video being played in a loop. Before you start wondering what I’m exactly doing here, it is simply a description of one of my recurrent dreams. One of my last few blogs was on insomnia. This one is in the backdrop of the opposite state, the state of being completely cut of from the real world, in the deepest of sleeps. Dreams are a completely inexplicable phenomenon. I have had my rendezvous with them more than once for sure. What’s shocking is over the past few months, I actually recollect bits and pieces of what I have dreamt very often, and I can’t help but feel amused at the haphazard and illogical nature of each one of them. Like in one of my dreams some time last month, I saw this long corridor with a number of identical straw doors, leading to a series of stairs carved in rock, wh...

I guess it's the initial excitement of having my own blog once again that is causing me to put up stuff so random so often. This blog comes during one such phase. It is about "void"- the feeling of "nothing"ness. It's something which I just haven't found any valid justification for but it yet happens quite often. It isn't deja vu. Take for instance last night. I was working on this idea of mine. Looking all over the net, magazines, newspapers and everything else I could think off. I couldn't channelize my thought-process to actually come up with something worthwhile. I spent 5 whole hours doing this. I give up all hope and go to bed. That's when stuff starts flowing in, as if a river of thoughts blocked by a dam of confusion had finally broken it's way through. When I'm shit weary, wanting to just shut my mind off and retire, my sub-conscious mind is adamant on not switching off. This goes on till about 5 am in the morning. I'm ha...