I guess it's the initial excitement of having my own blog once again that is causing me to put up stuff so random so often. This blog comes during one such phase.
It is about "void"- the feeling of "nothing"ness. It's something which I just haven't found any valid justification for but it yet happens quite often. It isn't deja vu.
Take for instance last night. I was working on this idea of mine. Looking all over the net, magazines, newspapers and everything else I could think off. I couldn't channelize my thought-process to actually come up with something worthwhile. I spent 5 whole hours doing this.
I give up all hope and go to bed. That's when stuff starts flowing in, as if a river of thoughts blocked by a dam of confusion had finally broken it's way through. When I'm shit weary, wanting to just shut my mind off and retire, my sub-conscious mind is adamant on not switching off. This goes on till about 5 am in the morning. I'm half-asleep, half-thinking, not knowing what's going on in there, but yet realising that it's just another episode of involuntary brainstorming!
The worst part, or let me call it, the icing on the cake from a sadist''s point of view, is that when I wake up, I'm still in the same state as I was when I had just gone to bed. Add to it, a terrible hangover from not having slept properly. Insomnia isn't something I'm new too, but then I generally make the most of my creativity during those times. Yesterday was just one hell of an unpromising night. I felt like Frodo did in the last few stages of his journey to Mount Doom (LOTR followers should know) but I missed a Sam who would help me get through. Eeks, I guess the hangover's doing the talking now.
Okies, I vow not to come up with an entry so boring in the near future. That's of course, assuming that I don't go through this phase of "nothing"ness during that time. Fingers crossed.