Quietus

Oh beloved!
I come to thee
Delinquent I have been
Please forgive me.

Blinded by the darkness
Agony I couldn't see
Hold my hand
I will set you free.

Don't find answers
For none you will find
Seek no love
That love, you will leave behind.

Embrace me
Once again be strong
The divine light beckons
To eternity you will belong.

Yonder lies a world
The abode of the soul
End the battle within
Let the pieces form a whole.

PS: Dedicated to the one loved by the ones I love.

Homesickness

I miss:
-Sindhi curry
-calling friends at 30p/minute
-VESIT
-sleeping 1AM-8PM
-khau galli
-chatting non-stop for 3 hours and still wanting more
-being woken up by people rather than an alarm
-Marine Drive
-affordable restaurants
-auto rickshaws
-Nix
-my team at Accenture
-treats without the GPL ;)
-fighting for a Choco Avalanche that lasts 20 seconds
-going on random treks to random places
-having objects to photograph closeby
-local trains
-lectures from Dada on practically everything I do or don't do
-weekends
-reading a novel from start to end at one go
-Kandha Poha
-watching 4 movies in a day
-unforeseen heavy rains
-Linking Road
-Vada Paav
-my inner circle
-having a refrigerator in the room, with food on demand
-college fests
-matke ka paani
-H n H
-weekend getaways
-seeing both rudeness and nicety in a moment
-a paycheck
-trips to Bangalore
-late night drives
-BEST buses
-Pasada's movie recommendations
-unrestricted night downloads
-getting, making and giving customized gifts
-unnecessary advice from over-smart relatives
-counselling sessions with friends
-wasting time and not feeling guilty about it
-being close to reality
-being left alone in my own world
-Mumbai

Long Time No See

Me: How come you are up at this hour?
Myself: I am always up at this hour.
Me: Did you know you don't wake up in time for the 8.30 lectures?
Myself: Of course I do. I have a dream within a dream within a dream....just like nested loops in programming. Every time the alarm rings, I wake up in a dream. I exit one dream and return to the parent dream.
Me: Crap! You are sleep talking.
Myself: I am sleep talking half the time. I am sleeping from 2 AM to 2 PM. Surprised you didn't know.
Me: Don't forget, I am the insomniac that you once used to be.
Myself: I thought I was too, till the winter came knocking on my doors. Time froze. I froze in time, apparently.
Me: Faff. When will you ever learn how to talk straight?
Myself: It's proven. That's why food is preserved in freezers. The microbes' metabolism slows down in the near zero degree temperature range and hence they cannot carry on with their work of spoiling the food. So you see it's humane for your body clock to slow down, sometimes stop when it's time to wake up.
Me: Microbes are not humans!
Myself: Stop being so critical.
Me: Look who is talking :P
Myself: Okay fine! I am a changed man.
Me: What's new?
Myself: Everything. New seasons. New friends. New teachers. New headaches. New initiatives.
Me: What initiatives?
Myself: My friends and I started a literacy drive for the mess workers of our hostel.
Me: Oh so you have been doing more than just sleeping.
Myself: Did you not know my day has more than 24 hours these days?
Me: Yeah right! That's been the case since you joined MDI. Why take up another headache?
Myself: That's one headache I like. At least I am contributing to alleviating someone else's future headache.
Me: Now don't get into philosophy again. People have been cribbing Whispering Shadow has taken a preachy tone!
Myself: The Illuminator is a bit of everything. Unfortunately the only space for philosophy in his life is on his blog, so the Shadow sees most of it coming through.
Me: Uffo. But what about your readers? You have to be kind to them.
Myself: I do not write what people like. People like what I write. Only they are the ones who are here.
Me: What about the 21867 hits that you don't get on your blog?
Myself: It'll happen over time. My blog has its own life. It'll grow old, learn, adapt and change over time. It will continue to represent me.
Me:Old!! Damn you are growing old. Time to get a move on in life.
Myself: Old. You mean the boring workaholics who have tea every 3 hours to give their stressed minds a high.
Me: That's a new perspective of looking at things.
Myself: Tea reminds me! I need to go have some. Or else the whole cycle will recur..slow metabolism, too much sleep, dreams, frozen body clock, missing first lecture...damn.
Me: I do not wish to go. Too lazy. Moreover, too cozy.
Myself: Don't worry. My good friend has promised me her ''spirit'' will accompany me today.
Me: Sheesh. You talk utter crap. Even if I was not feeling too lazy or cozy, I would not have come. Go now!
Myself: She said the same thing - "Anyone who reads our conversation will go mad."
Me: I said "Go now!"

Whether Forecast

The air is dry
Truth is a far cry
Do you feel the prick on the skin?
Why are you not hunting for truth within?

Trees are shedding leaves
There is someone who believes
Is a leaf better dead than not alive?
Is there a better meaning to your lives?

Birds are migrating
You men are struggling
Isn't the world their playground?
Why is it your battleground?

The snow is sparkling white
Your lives are blank
How does the snow not stain?
Why do you not feel another's pain?

The winter season is here
The search for reason is here
Are you cold under the feeble sun?
Did my heart unfold a story unsung?

Power of a Vision

We all have a dream - one you believe in, a one you see becoming a reality, a dream you know nothing about but you know it exists taking shape somewhere in the many years to come, a dream that defines the purpose of your life.

It is yours and you know it. It is the guiding light for every decision you take. But how do you make others see the light? Do they need to see the light? As it turns out, yes, they do sometimes, to know you as a person. You try giving them a glimpse. The brightness of the vision is blinding. They shut their eyes. And then it's gone. But when you shut your eyes, it is clearer than ever. And the moment you open them, it is blurry. All you can recollect is you saw a dream. All you are left with is the lingering sensation.

It is this sensation that makes you a believer. It is the belief that translates into a vision which in turn can be shared. Though appreciated for its beauty in the long run, many find it hard to understand the choices you are going to make tomorrow. You find it hard to make them understand. Do you stop trying? No.

You go back and find another soul in the hope that someday you will find people who do not need to see the vision. They can feel the sensation that you do. It is that what makes them believe in you. You make them a part of your journey. And gradually, they begin to see it as you do. And then you wonder, "Was it even necessary?"

Satisfied

Satisfaction manifests itself in different ways. Satisfaction could come from the sense of achievement, peace, joy or relaxation derived from any one of the many activities one could possibly do. But the beauty lies in the fact that its effect leave an imprint on your head, a scar one wants to see over and over again to relive those times that have been. Again scar may not be the perfect word to use in a positive connotation but I simply use it as a last symbol of an event that led to strong emotions.

I was scarred twice in the last fortnight. Two very different reasons led to two very different results but gave me the same amount of satisfaction.

The first event I am talking of was my rafting trip to Kolad. The dense forests, the pristine waters, the unpredictable skies and the beautiful flora and fauna looked even prettier when observed from the quiet and fast moving rafts. There was no way I could have seen and absorbed so much natural grandeur in so little time. When added to the adrenaline rush of braving the rapids and the spirit of working as a coordinated team of your best friends, I had one hell of a package.

For those three hours, I lived in the present, without memories of the past and concern about the future. It was there that I felt closer to myself than I had ever been before. If I had to recall a time when I sincerely felt at home, it was while I was oaring through the 12 KM stretch of the Kundalika river. (I wish I could show you how I felt but cameras are a strict no-no in white water rafting).

The end of our journey in River Kundalika

The second event was one closer to the world of materialism we live in. We faced an uphill task of pulling of a mammoth event in one-third of the usual time. 'Mammoth event' refers to Illumina, the annual disguise market research festival of MDI and 'We' refers to the Illuminati (no, Dan Brown used it later in Angel and Demons), the core team that makes the event happen every year.

Due to an unexpected break of 10 days due to reasons mentioned in the post below, our entire plan had gone for a toss. At one point we weren't even sure if it was possible to hold the event with the little time available for the preparation. There was an incredible amount of work to do and we were a leaner team than there was last year. Though the batch could volunteer for bits and pieces of the total work, there was a considerable amount left for the team in addition to putting those bits and pieces together.

It is here that the entire team stood up together and made a seemingly impossible event possible. 6 days of non-stop work, lack of sleep, a lot of physical exertion and stiff deadlines at every stage comprehensively tested the team's mettle. Illumina was a grand success, at least as successful as the previous year if not better. Post the event, the sense of weariness was tremendous but short lived but the sense of achievement remained and will continue to remind us of the time we all did our bit and made the difference.

The fireworks at Illumina 2009

It is said,"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching." These events have surely made watching my life a worthier prospect.

Panic Pandemic

Swines passed it on to humans. Humans passed it on to other humans. Some of the other humans came to my campus. Some of those living on the campus caught it by the virtue of ill fate but survived the scare. Some are lucky to have not got it still. Some have escaped it right in time. Those in the latter two categories may still not be completely out of its danger. The clock is ticking. Panic is increasing. People are leaving.

Sounds like a typically d-day scenario of a movie. But it's true! I never thought I would have the opportunity to witness the panic of being stricken by the most hyped illness in the world. I shouldn't be sounding excited about it, but I can't deny the fact I am as excited as I am worried. In an otherwise extremely planned schedule for the next 3 months, most would have thought nothing could go wrong. But it did, and how, and how soon.

If I could analogize the H1N1 virus with the Joker in the Dark Knight, it perfectly represents his ''agent of chaos'' theory. If you didn't get the connection, here is a refresher.

"I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know... You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan." But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!"

For those of you who don't get a connection, let me describe what happened in the course of a few hours. Everything was going as planned. The beginning of a new semester. The build up to a very crucial 3 days in our b-school lives. The routine remained unchanged - sleepless nights, dreamy days, endless work, constant cribbing. We heard of one birdie being caught in the net of the virus. Everyone tried to display a sense of composure - Nothing happened, it is just an one off event. The reason I used ''tried to display'' is because the next day, everyone queues up to find out if they have been caught in the net too. Most had escaped, some had not. There were many who didn't know still and guess were in the worst position.

Here is a brief insight into the chain of thoughts.News spreads. Negative thoughts begin to creep in. What if it's me next? How am I going to manage alone? Will I spread it to a few others in my group? Should I go home to eliminate risk of transmission? Should I stay put to avoid taking the virus home? Should I go out? (For the ultra-paranoid living in ignorance:)Will I become like one of those miserable wretched creatures that are seen in movies like ''Resident Evil"? (For the more relaxed souls:) Is the mask looking funny? (For the optimist:) Let's click a picture with the masks on (me! but no one was interested except a good Samaritan).

The amazing fact about panic is it kills rationality. It nurtures fear and ignorance. It is self-perpetuating It is ubiquitous. It has its own mind. It is evil. As evident, even the smartest brains in the country are not immune to the threat so common (panic not THE FLU).

As I prepare myself to go on a welcome 10 days break, I hope I don't have to bear the burden of sharing the love the virus could have for me with you (could be you :P ). On all other fronts, the stage is set. Surprises are planned. A holiday has arrived before I could see it coming. No more fooling (could be 'flu'ing) around with me!

Play safe.

PS: All information mentioned in the post is the personal opinion of the author and should not be taken as an official source of information from the school authorities or the student body of the school.