Sunday, November 25, 2007

What your pick up line shouldn't be?

We all love our social networking sites. Why won't we? They are a great place to catch up with new friends and find long lost ones too. But on the flipside, there's this whole menace of despo's scrapping. Being a guy, I don't bear the brunt of those scraps, but I have seen a lot of those in the scrap books of some of my female friends. Here're are some (marked in bold) I found from one of the communities against desperados for everyone to have a good laugh. I have supplemented them with replies of my own.

u are so beautiful.....it must have hurt falling down from heaven!

Yeah, pity I'll have to go back up there after reading this.I don't have any plans of falling down again.

You look so soothing . Do you really soothe others ?

Man, where did you see that side of me? Genius. I thought only my husband has experienced that bit.

U n I have the same b'day. Ummm Lets find out what more we have in common than our horoscopes.

Hmmm. Yeah despo scraps. U write them. I get them.

What will you say if I tell you that your grandmother was more beautiful than you and you will be more beautiful than your granddaughter ?, Please , explain.

U have even started hitting on my grand-daughter, huh? Heights of desperation.

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

You can dial 100 and confirm the date.

read ur profile (timepass karna tha)....
found it quite interesting (maskaa maar raha hoon)....
u lookin good in this pic(yaar ab jhooth bhi bolna pad raha hai iske liye)....
will u like to b my frnd plzz (chalo tu nahi to koi aur mil jaayegi teri frndlist mein)....
i hope u wont mind me adding u (plz bhaav mat khana, add me )....
just check out my profile (kuchh likha nahi waise maine)...
u'l find we hav lots of things common (teri profile padh ke hi add ki hai maine)...
bye n take care ( mere bolne se jaise firk pad jaayega )

hahahaaaa just kidding ,dont mind.....can v be frnds? do reply,
and
Keep Scraping
tak care,,

enjoy life...

read your scrap (time waste hogaya)

jst hope you won't mind blocking you (zyaada naraaz mat hona)

good bye for ever (mere bolne se farak padta hai)

Browsing through your profile, it’s just a proactive endeavor on my part to extend my sincere gesture in the realm of friendship. Bordering on grounds of personal sobriety, i put forward this amicable gesture in front of you. In eager anticipation of a speedy response from your side. WANNA B FRIENDS????

I am unyielding when it comes to the scraps sent to be my those who have their hormones surging to titanic proportions. My firm resolve is that I will erase the rubble of futile amorous scraps from my book at their first signs. Since you stood your ground on the borders of sobriety, I will just take one step past it: Get a life moron!

hey u ve been voted 80% sexy... tht qualifies u to ve a chat wid me... n then if i feel tht u ve somethin more than just a pretty face.... i might give u a chance to think over the whole "um nt much into making "fraandshaps" wid random ppl" thingy...

I grab every opportunity with both hands. In addition to random people, I have also added Beauty Pageant judges to the list.

hello. i am vary alone boy and i am looking for desent frandchip in this materilistic worlds...i am hopes u will not say no to me as i am ables to be vary gud frands. if u saus yes then meat me at emceedonalds (mcdonalds) at the seaview

Cum too emceedonalds and meat the barger. Sertainlee, do reech by time.

Hi me very friendly boy wanting to make ispecial fradship with you!...
I read your profile and me very impressed with your thinking you are modern and nice and very good brain....me a good salary making boy living with my mother. people say that me very good looking and friendly and having gr8 personality..........plzz be my friend i will be very nice to you .....mother swear!!!..........plz makin special frandship with me!!!

I live with my mother and she has told me NOT TO TALK TO STRANGERS. Mother Swear! I can't disobey her.

u have already lots of friend and u have no love ooooooh very bad

u don't even seem to be having friends. oooh very bad. help yourself first. (The girl changed her name to Savitri from Kashmira, her age to 37 and relationship status to married with kids)

I just go trhugh ur profile and its reely intrusting an the thing is i wanna hilight in ur profile is ur frandly aitiude t0 ur frands so keeps it up :) and profile of u is sumway comun to myne one :) so can we be the sharing sum gud lines of comun intrusts if u dont mand ?? and yeahhhhhhhhhhhh 1 more similar things i.e. ur handswrittung in ur profile is 2 gud !!! evun i do !!! any of way just drop a lil scrap for me !! tczzz enjwoy life and keep smilung

Dropped. The scrap as well as you.

So my dear fraands, I hope you were as entertained as I was when I wrote this. Do leave some of your own favourite worst pick up lines and alternative replies if you have any.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Where is the Love?

What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like aint got no mamas
I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma
Overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin
In the USA the big CIA the Bloodz and the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And if you hatin you're bound to get irate
Yeah madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

It just ain't the same all ways have changed
New days are strange is the world the insane?
If love and peace so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations dropping bombs
Chemical gases filling lungs of little ones
With ongoing suffering
As the youth die young
So ask yourself is the loving really strong?
So I can ask myself really what is going wrong
With this world that we living in
People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them livin and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy brother
The wars' going on but the reasons' undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love
Where's the love y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the truth y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the love y'all?

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father father father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting older y'all people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading anomosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling down
It's no wonder why sometimes I'm feeling under
I gotta keep my faith alive, until love is found

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

- Black Eyed Peas, 2004

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A Photographer's Confession

There are different reasons why people smile- a dish well cooked, a painting beautifully coloured, an exam written successfully, an imminent threat averted and many more. For me, however, there are two things which can give me an immense amount of pleasure and satisfaction, more than any other possible. The first is writing, the second photography, not necessarily in that order. Of course, there are other momentary delights too, but then the two I have mentioned here are generally independent of factors(barring the laptop and the camera) around me, which makes them special. I will give priority to the photography in this blog entry though.

I love the digital camera. I could not have imagined clicking so many pictures of objects of nearly no consequence if I still had a film-based camera. Many professionals might think otherwise, saying no digital camera can match a film camera in performance, but then, photography was only revived because of its digitization. Now you can not only preserve insignificant objects in the form of pictures, but also keep trying till you get the perfect frame, without bothering about the film role getting over, or the costs of resources sky-rocketing. Moreover, modern photography has led to photo-sharing communities flourishing, giving the amateur photographer a much-needed platform to showcase his work. This would have been impossible in the previous generation.

Moving away from the debate,let's see what makes a good photograph? I don't claim to be a pro-photographer, so I will not go into the technical details of photography. For me, it's more about keeping your eyes wide open for possible objects around you which will make good photographs. Shadows (had to be), lights, animals, landscapes, reflections, insects, monuments, kids are a few of my personal favourites, although the list is endless. Once decided, the only thing you need is perseverence during the shoot and building that comfort level with your camera, while your teacher here is experience and experience alone.

My friends generally prefer photographs with people in them, but people don't have the patience to wait till I have achieved what I am looking for in the picture. Besides, people often find it unusual to pose for pictures, thinking it's only a model's job! On certain other occasions, they pose when they shouldn't. While trying to clicking a destitute boy, I was quite tired of trying to tell him not to look so happy, but he could not conceal the excitement of someone trying to shoot his picture.

A picture is indeed worth a thousand words, but those words change with the person viewing it. That's the beauty of photography, express yourself, and yet, let the viewer draw his own conclusions. More often than not, the first reaction you get from people when they see a photograph is "It's good," or "Whatever is that!" or "Bravo!" or "I don't like the pic." Not many read a picture. The true appreciation of a picture is only when the viewer tries and interprets the message it conveys. So apart from seeing photographs the next time, also try listening to them, feel their pulse and in the process, open your inner eye ( no, no, I still haven't become sri sri whispering shadow nor do I want to).

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Shadowy Times Are Here Again

I eagerly look forward to Diwali, the festivals of light. It is an occasion where the entire family gets together to welcome the goddess of wealth into their homes, so it naturally gives you time to catch up with each other amidst the otherwise hectic routines. The shopping, sweet and savouries, candles and diyas and gifts are all an added bonus. Who doesn’t like such happening holidays? But then that’s not exactly the reason I connect with the whole affair. I love the shadows. Ok, I am sounding very abstract, so let’s analyse this a little further.

Ever wondered why I named my blog Whispering Shadow? That’s because I am enchanted by the concept of a shadow. I beg to differ from the entire community who use shadow as a synonym for darkness. With the poetic license perhaps it is acceptable to do so (read ‘Blame it on the Shadows’ on this blog), but in reality I take a different opinion on the issue.

How can something whose origin itself lies in light be compared to darkness? Their can be no shadows without light, yet darkness can flourish in such circumstances. They are so dark, yet their genesis lies in light. I think that’s what makes them special. On the other hand, darkness is a complete absence of luminance.

Apart from your name, the only thing that is associated with you permanently is your shadow. They follow you loyally, being neutral spectators to the events in your life, which takes an incredible amount of patience and persistence (especially if you are an irritating jerk :P).

Your shadow elongates and shortens during the different times of the day, but it still represents the same shape, which is your own. It shows the importance of moulding yourself with time but not losing yourself in it.

After a lot of rambling, I come back to my primary question. As explained before, the origin of shadows lies in light, and the extra radiance during the nights of the fiesta harbours them even during the hours of darkness. This Diwali, I hope that more people are captivated by them, because it is just a question of interpretation, not reputation.

Happy Diwali !!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Viva for Dummies

The word 'dummies' in the title is aimed at two kinds of people - those who don't know what a viva is and those who have been proven to be just that (i.e. a dummy) by the end of a viva. Instead of bragging on and on about the dire situations we students are put in, I thought why not churn up a mock viva right here right now, hoping to arouse some sympathy in the hearts of those who don't face such misery.

The Background:
A pair of class three students, hereby referred to as, Defendant 1 (D1) and Defendant 2 (D2) sitting in front of the teachers, who will be further known as Prosecuter 1 (P1) and Prosecuter 2 (P2) for an General Science viva. P1 is the external while P2 is the internal.

Act One and Only, Scene One:
P2: Please be seated in this order, roll number 3 on the left and roll number 4 on the right.
P1: Which are the five constituent gases of the atmosphere?
D1: Air, Gas, Oxygen, Smoke, and...
P1(to D2) : Can you give the answer?
D2: Yes sir, oxygen, nitrogen, water vapour, carbon dioxide, and hydrogen.
P1: Partly correct. Give the chemical reaction by which carbon dioxide during respiration?
D1: I don't know sir.
D2: (Blank expression)
P1: You people should know. It is not good to be restricted to bookish information. It's time you start exploring the world around you. (meanwhile his cup of tea arrives)

P1: Which chapter have you studied?
D1: Sir, the flora and fauna.
D2(looks at D1 in agreement): Yes sir, the plant and animal life.
P1: Ok, tell me how many leaves can be there on a banana tree?
D1: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
D2: I guess 8.
P1(Looks at P1 and smiles): How do you measure the age of a tree.
D1: By measuring it's height.
P1: Aapka sab concepts gol hai. You have reached class 3 and you still don't refer standard text books. D1,do you know the answer.
D2: We can cut the tree and then count the rings seen on the big branch on which the tree stands.
P1: What is the big branch?
D1: Sir I know. Can I answer please.
P1: No wait.
D2: It is called the bark.
P1: Bark? Are you certain? What is the difference between the bark and the trunk?
D2: (realising he said the wrong thing) Oh sorry, I just got a little mixed up.
( D2 giving the 'oh yeah, now I remember' look)
P1: Mixed up, bhagwaan jaane tum log ka kya hoga. I am sure P2 no tumhe aise nahin sikhaya hoga, nahin to sab students unka lectures thodi baithte. Madam (looking at P2) do you want to ask them anything?
P2: Ok, just tell me which class of species does the frog belong to?
D1: Reptile
D2: Amphibian.
P2: Thank god someone answered. I told you the General Science viva is not a joke. Ok you can go.

Act One and only, Scene two:
(Students emerge from the room and crowds gather around them)
DX: Kya poocha?
D1: Vaat hai yaar. Lagta hai fail ho jaaoonga.
D2: Bahut kuchh poocha lekin ek bhi answer sure nahin tha. Pata nahin kya marks degi. Saala kameena examiner.


....And then the story repeats. The later you go, the more the reactions you hear and the more tense you get. In the end, the viva voce always stay true to its nature and maintains the element of shock and surprise! No wonder students are left bedazzled saying to themselves - 'Maine uskaa kya bigaada tha.'