Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Pursuit of Happyness

The mail subject reads "Congratulations". It is a simple word, of which I heard a lot this week at my engagement. However, it didn't hold as much meaning then as it held now. Then, I was getting a stamp of public approval on my relationship, which would have had no impact on how things would turn out between us in the long run. Now, I was getting a licence to make my dream a reality - a dream that will add meaning to my life, that will allow me to impact the larger problem in my own small way, that will teach me lessons for a lifetime, that will set me free and above all, that will make me a better person, a stronger person.

On reading the mail, I ran to the bathroom and screamed. A few tears rolled down my eyes. At the same time, I was also smiling. I wished I had the one person, who had made me believe in the dream, with me. Of the memories that I vividly remember, only one other had managed to bring out such emotions in me - when I had told this same person what she meant to me.

That is what being in love is all about. I am lucky to have found it twice.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.

Today, I can understand what must be going through Arnold H. Glasow's mind when he quoted the above statement. I took the first step in my journey towards excellence, moving away from mediocrity. I have been excellent in the past - when I have given those speeches in the debates I have won, when I have got my class of novices together to perform and to win a street play competition, when I have accepted nothing less than perfection from my club teams during certain events or when I have deleted 95% of my photographs because they haven't made the cut. My focus on excellence had reduced only recently in the corporate environment, where the means often don't justify the ends. In some way, the mediocre way of thinking had started seeping into the other activities of my life.

It felt good to make an attempt at being excellent again today. It would be over stating my performance, but I would at least take a great deal of pride in saying that "I put in my best." The amount of effort it took was tremendous considering the circumstances. I had been planning for this day for 6 months, planning for each little detail. I did not want to leave anything to chance. I managed to not leave much to chance eventually, except one small but important aspect. I hope it doesn't cost me the day. 

If I get the desired outcome, I will experience a flurry of emotions. It will probably be one of the best days of my life - only second to falling in love. If I don't, I will at least take pride in the fact, that despite everything that I have seen in the recent past, I haven't let the sea of mediocrity drown the perfectionist in me. Needless to say, the disappointment will be tremendous and probably, I will not get a second chance at doing what I set out for. That's when I will call upon my tenacity.

PS: Thanks everyone who has stood by me in the last few months. I could not have done it without your understanding my passion about the task at hand.