Through the Eye of a Needle

Had Cleo been alive today, she would have been four years old. She would have been eating a special meal of freshly cooked chicken or fish. She would have been forced to wear all kinds of fun accessories, much to her dismay. She would have had tonnes of photos clicked for the sake of our memories with her. She would have visits from people who have parented her. After all, she was the Queen kitty in our lives.

The Queen for a reason

However, Cleo is no longer with us in physical form. She passed away three months ago, after fighting courageously a battle that she could not win against lily toxicity. I will never forget the day she passed away. It is the saddest day of my life. 

It is not the saddest because of her death. Everyone dies when their time comes. It was sad because it was not her time. She was a healthy, happy, playful cat. She had never been to a vet for any illness, not even fleas. She didn't deserve the cards of death that were dealt to her. She didn't deserve the pain or suffering. However, even in her death, she taught me valuable lessons.

Here rests Cleo in peace

While we were headed to Whispering Meadows to bury her, I was thinking about all my moments with her. How she would give us 30 seconds of love when we returned from home, but then go back to grooming herself. How she would hide under the bed when we met strangers, maintaining her distance.  How she would play ferociously with ribbons, balls, sticks and sometimes, my feet. How she would forget about us after a few days in a new setting.

In the moments we were burying her, the only thoughts that stayed with me are how I could be fully present in the moment, how I could learn to let go, and how I could embrace the future that was presented in front of me. In this future, there had to be ways to keep Cleo alive. 

Yes, Cleo was a dear pet, but Cleo was many things else. I will share a few examples. 

She, like my students from Ja'fari, reminded me of the value of the unconditional love and kindness that those without a voice need. She is probably the only reason all of us who loved her have adopted other cats. I also began to observe other animals on the street, identifying and helping the ones that are in need. Pallavi and I have now helped rescue and find a home for a dog and a cat. 

Mouse lives with our friends and Cleo's moms - Akanksha and Ishita

Cleo was the reason I found a new community of friends, people who I would have otherwise barely known. Cats (and dogs) became our common ground. Through our love for animals, I built empathy for people who were very different from me. As we listened to each others' stories, we received further encouragement for doing more good to more animals, including our own.

Tuffy was abandoned by his mother, but rescued by my neighbor, Sumathi and us

Playing with Cleo taught me to put my cell phone away and be fully present in a moment, feeling attentiveness, joy and the thrill of adventure. I still make it a point to do this for some part of the day, even though my cat, Kovu doesn't play with that much enthusiasm. 

Kovu - The Calm and Friendly One

Cleo's death was like passing through the eye of the needle. At some stage, you feel like you can't move on. At another, you realize you must. In the process, you must let go of all the unnecessary baggage so that you can pass through it. For instance, it means being okay with not being able to run your fingers through her soft and smooth fur and not being able to look into her beautiful dark eyes with the yellow borders. In the process of letting go, you find greater meaning and see a field of new possibilities emerge - of love, of kindness, of friendship, of mindfulness - of being more humane. 

Cleo was not just a cat, but an inspiration