Saturday, January 18, 2014

Perceptiveness and Perfection

I am doing much more in the class than I was doing before but I still feel I am not doing enough. As I have grown as a teacher, I have also developed my ability to sense the pulse of the class, gather finer data and gain frequent feedback. This has helped me plan in greater detail by incorporating feedback faster and modifying lesson plans.

Despite its many advantages, a higher degree of perceptiveness changes your definition of excellence. If you are one of those who is not okay with being just okay, then every compromise makes you feel a little more miserable about the falling level of excellence. But wait a minute, did I just say compromise?

Till the last unit I was focusing just on lessons. In this unit however, I have changed my approach by bringing in a strong focus on the classroom culture. I realize that it is probable not all my kids will be equipped with the academic skills to make it through school in the time considered the norm, but it is certain that with the right inputs, I can invest them enough in their own education. I want to make them believe they can overcome any barrier to their education with hard work, resourcefulness and discipline.

Laying a strong focus on class culture alongside academics is however stretching my time even more! I had hoped I would have reduced my lesson planning time significantly by now but instead, the focus on more depth and retention along with an extremely low literacy levels has led me to spend even more effort on planning.

After the rigorous last unit, I am feeling worn out. I need a break but I also realize this unit will set the tone of how the next year begins. And hence, I have to persist.

More importantly I have to sustain myself, as a result of which I make small compromises. I compromise to ensure my kids don't ever end up with a day I miss school because of ill health. I compromise by working 11 hours a day instead of 15 hours. I compromise by spending more time on friends, family and activities I consider relaxing. I am not feeling guilty about it, but I am not feeling great either.

Two months to go before I spend some quality time analyzing and fixing this issue - for good. 

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