Coincidentally, it has so happened that two of my friends, who are completely unrelated to each other, have asked me - Is my blog dead? I would dare say yes but I realize that their fear is not unfounded. The last time I wrote a proper post was probably June. More importantly, the last time I wrote straight from the heart was in December. My blog has not died, but it is surely breathing its last breaths. If it dies, the more appropriate phrase would be "I killed it".
From June to September, I have been making different excuses whenever it comes to writing. The most convincing one probably has been the lack of inspiration, ideas and time in that order. The alternate explanation has been having other forms of expressions that have kept my head clear from clutter. To be honest, I know in a deep corner of my heart that both arguments are without basis.
Inspiration and ideas do not come knocking on your door often. Ideas and inspiration are both ephemeral, like a bubble of soap water - their beauty can be experienced only for the moment they last. They have to be converted into a more permanent form of expression so that they can stimulate your mind when needed. Instead of capturing the ones that have come my way into a more lasting and complete form of expression, I have chosen to blow them away through menial updates on platforms like Facebook and Instagram thanks to my smart phone.
While I am a strong advocate of technology that can empower people, I am also in awe of its power to reduce your span of attention and make you a compulsive responsive technology addict. Technology should be an enabler in making you more efficient. If you are not conscious, it quietly starts creeping into your routine so much so that the collective time spent on checking updates on your smart phone takes up more time than the time spend on everyday tasks - for me, those tasks are reading and writing.
As for the alternate form of expression, I haven't pursued either of my other interests passionately either. I don't remember the last time a photograph I clicked moved me. I haven't been on a travel experience that has been truly enriching. I have not done anything I enjoy in a manner I used to when my blog was active.
I did not take up blogging because of my craving for a thousand readers. I wanted a record of my memories and feelings, a record I could go back to when I was lost or wanted to switch my mood. I wanted my writing to tell me exactly what I had in mind without telling the world too much. That is the purpose of the Shadow's existence. That is why it must live.