Friday, February 15, 2008

Stalk Talk

What do you do if a stalker who had lost your trail comes back into your life? What do you do if he knows where you stay exactly and has just dropped a gift at your doorstep on your birthday? Well, something of this sort happened to my PAL. I will call her PAL itself for ease of reference throughout the rest of this blog.

It was her 20th birthday. As is usually the case with people celebrating their birthdays, she too received a number of birthday greetings. On one of this calls, she heard an unrecognizable voice and that's when her ordeal began.
Caller: Wish you many many happy returns of the day! May you have all the happiness, joy and success you have ever wanted.
PAL: Thank you. May I know who this is?
C: May you get everything you desire.
P: Ok, thanks a lot but stop. Please introduce yourself.
C: Isn't it enuf to know that the feelings are heart felt?
P ( getting a little irritated): I think the feelings will mean a lot more if I know who the person is.
C: If I tell you who I am, you won't talk to me.
P: I will still want to know.
C: Do you remember that gift I got you on your 18th birthday? That anonymous gift?
P: No.
C: Technically speaking, the gift your watchman delivered to you on my behalf.
P: Ok, who are you ? What do you want?
C: I have waited two long years for this. Finally I have got in touch with you again.
P: Listen, if this is a joke, it is not funny.
C: Of course it is not funny, because it is not a joke. I am dead serious.
In the meanwhile PAL gets another call, so she hands over the phone to her best buddy AL.
AL:Ok who are you?
C: Who are you? I want to speak to PAL.
A: I think as her best friend, I can speak on her behalf.
C: Tell her I want to meet her tomorrow.
A: What the hell! Why should she meet you?
C: Because I deserve a chance to prove my feeling for her.
Pal has just finished telling her friend her old stalker has called back. She will talk to him later and returns to the line, worried needless to say.
P: Ok, what do you exactly want? Meeting is not going to help because my answer is NO.
C: Well, if you don't want to meet me, I will meet you at 4, wherever you are then. I have my eyes on you.
P (obviously scared now): I am not meeting you whatsoever.
She hands back the phone to AL, telling her, "I think we should tell dad" but AL tells her to hold it a little longer.
A: Look you loser. Go get a life.
C: But she is my life.
A: See she is not going to meet you. If you try to meet her, the consequences will be dire.
C: For starters, ask her to see the gift which is kept on her doorstep.
AL passes the message to PAL, who is now getting tensed and more afraid than ever.
P: See, even if you have sent me a gift, it's going to go straight into the bin.
C: How can you disrespect someone's feeling like this? At least give me a chance to prove myself.
P: Why are you scaring me?
C: I am not scaring you, I have no intentions to cause you any harm. Give me one opportunity to meet you. If you don't want to take it further, I will never meet you again.
P: You are mad.
She hangs up on him. However, curiosity does drive her to see if the stalker was actually saying the truth about the gift. She goes out with AL on the pretext of fetching the keys which AL forget on her bike.
Guess what did she get as the gift? A jet, for a reason known to her and him. And what was written on it? BAKRA.
Jai Pranksters!


AL said...

nice blog!!..thou u 4got 2 mention dat i even called u an asshole!:P

The Illuminator said...

Evn I forgot to mention that you were the mole from the enemy's camp. Traitor. Co-prankster. Hehe.

AL said...

same 2 u pardner!:P

Anonymous said...

hmph!! i shall have my vengenance!!-Pal

The Illuminator said...

Do u mean vengeance? We will see. But you can't deny it was fun!

Seeker of Truth said...

This made a heartening read. The final year Utsav is the time when many of us are left with the feeling that we should have reached out more...Winning Utsav gave me a feeling of giving a finishing touch to the VESIT experience with a flourish. At the fag end, events like this take the edge off the wistfulness and give us reason to smile. Those who dismiss all this as frivolous do not probably appreciate these lines...

Ah, when to the heart of man

Was it ever less than a treason

To go with the drift of things,

To yield with a grace to reason,

And bow and accept the end

Of a love or a season?

-Robert Frost (Reluctance)

The Illuminator said...

I think it is high you cannot even imagine to feel unless you go through it. These are the things you get nostalgic about the most when they have passed by. The euphoria can be relived at the thought of it.

BTW, you commented on the wrong post but I loved those lines by Frost.

Metallica bhakt! said...

too good maan!!

The Illuminator said...

Thank u.

nains m said...

hey, nice post!
keeps one reading till the end...
gud job!