Whispering Shadow

I am neither a misanthrope nor asocial. I am not driven by rebellion or non-conformance either. However, I am strongly driven by values of secular humanism, chief among them being fairness, simplicity, respect, integrity, wisdom, efficiency and scientific thinking. I also judge my actions by a simple thumb rule. I always ask myself "Is what I do thoughtful, helpful, inspiring, necessary or kind?". If the answer is no to any question, I choose to avoid the action. I call this the "THINK" rule. During the months leading to my wedding and the weeks following my wedding, I have often heard the phrase "man is a social animal" being used as a driver of certain actions that seem illogical but indispensable part of our fabric. In addition, many practices are disguised under the veil of apparently righteous terms like "culture" and "tradition". Many of these actions or practices surrounding the wedding strongly challenged my value system. I w...

I live with a high degree of objectivity in most everyday aspects of life. On the other hand, I also live with a high degree of romanticism about certain things -  nature, friendship, purpose and poetry. Marriage falls somewhere in between the two where the lines of romanticism and objectivity meet. On one side there is romantic love. It is unconditional and selfless. It does not have an ounce of materialism but tonnes of spirituality. It is organic, flowing and boundless. On the other side, there is a 'ritualistic project' that has an objective of showcasing  the union of two families to the world, or at least those who they know in the world, on a scale that appropriately projects the image of the two families. Henceforth, I will call this project a marriage for the ease of reference. Being five months away from my own marriage, I am facing a tough act juggling the two - my firm belief in romantic love and the 'ritualistic project' that is my marriage itself. I...