Whispering Shadow

I am neither a misanthrope nor asocial. I am not driven by rebellion or non-conformance either. However, I am strongly driven by values of secular humanism, chief among them being fairness, simplicity, respect, integrity, wisdom, efficiency and scientific thinking. I also judge my actions by a simple thumb rule. I always ask myself "Is what I do thoughtful, helpful, inspiring, necessary or kind?". If the answer is no to any question, I choose to avoid the action. I call this the "THINK" rule. During the months leading to my wedding and the weeks following my wedding, I have often heard the phrase "man is a social animal" being used as a driver of certain actions that seem illogical but indispensable part of our fabric. In addition, many practices are disguised under the veil of apparently righteous terms like "culture" and "tradition". Many of these actions or practices surrounding the wedding strongly challenged my value system. I w...

I live with a high degree of objectivity in most everyday aspects of life. On the other hand, I also live with a high degree of romanticism about certain things -  nature, friendship, purpose and poetry. Marriage falls somewhere in between the two where the lines of romanticism and objectivity meet. On one side there is romantic love. It is unconditional and selfless. It does not have an ounce of materialism but tonnes of spirituality. It is organic, flowing and boundless. On the other side, there is a 'ritualistic project' that has an objective of showcasing  the union of two families to the world, or at least those who they know in the world, on a scale that appropriately projects the image of the two families. Henceforth, I will call this project a marriage for the ease of reference. Being five months away from my own marriage, I am facing a tough act juggling the two - my firm belief in romantic love and the 'ritualistic project' that is my marriage itself. I...

While the latest Pepsi campaign resonated the restlessness of emotions among the youth today, I think it can be equally extended to elders in matters of  pushing young men and women in their twenties into a marital commitment. And their impatience existed a long before Gen Y came to be known for it. Till around six months ago, my parents and I were hounded by restless relatives to become active participants in the extremely competitive bride hunt that was on in the community for the few marriageable young women left. "Dus crore ki party hai, haath se mat jaane dena", said one aunty. Another tried to sow seeds of suspicion in their head "Kahin uska affair toh nahin? You know XYZ ke saath kya hua tha na?" And an uncle interrogated my parents trying to uncover why they wouldn't look for a prospect for me for an whole hour. I stopped attending any function that would get me in the audible range of one of these matchmakers. So then they had more advice when I acci...

A prospect recently mailed one of my friends giving a brief introduction of himself. I couldn't help writing down the probable reply (in italics) she could give to the expressive bloke (names changed for the sake of everyone's privacy). I mean no offence to him, but the world can live with a few more SMILES :-)  Hi Anita, This is Nilesh Piramal. I am pretty sure you might have heard about me from your family. Our parents/relatives are trying to find best companion/life partner for us. You are the first girl that my parents strongly suggested to get in touch with. So, let me take a moment to thank you and your family for sharing your profile with my family. Hi Nilesh, As you already know, I am Anita. I don't introduce myself in third person. I haven't heard anything about you so your mail comes as another shocker. My parents are trying extremely hard to find me a companion (don't know about best) and you will not be glad to know that you are just another...