Whispering Shadow

I was going to school today feeling a sense of finality of everything. The exact same pre-school morning routine. Packing my bag after checking for all the essentials. Meeting the same people in the lift, other children who go to better resourced schools and their parents. Taking a rickshaw to school with the meter reading between Rs.44-46 everyday (as per the latest fare revision - fares changed thrice during the two years). Reaching school before 7:10AM, the time for the first bell. Signing in on the teacher's muster. Leading my class line for the assembly. Being greeted by a "Good Morning" by my students.  Setting up the class for the lesson - the closing lesson of the year. Taking attendance. Executing it to the tee, well almost. The video collage of photographs of some of the key moments of our journey made them realize that this was the last time I was taking a lesson for them. That was when it dawned on them and me that I had only a few minutes left in that class...

This is an ongoing post in which I want to capture some of my reflections on progress in my classroom and its students as I reach the end of my fellowship. 1) My students have deeper self-awareness about their values. When I started, my students did not know the meaning of 'strength' and 'weakness'. Yesterday, when I was having a sharing circle, all the students who have been with me for the whole last year were able to identify their strengths and areas of development. Not just that, they were able to choose deeper values like 'empathy', 'compassion', 'grit' as some of their answers. They still have a long way to go till the actively work on their area of development - but at least the acceptance is a good start.  2) Some of my students have become intelligent conversationalists. Whenever I used to have a guest in class, students would ask questions which were highly factual with almost no follow through. Now, they engage in meanin...

I have spoken a lot about the choices of my kids on my blog. As I approach the final lap of my journey in the classroom, I have been reflecting more deeply on my own choices. It is the choices that I make that I make now that will be my enduring legacy on my students. Till August last year, my co-fellow and I had managed to effectively drive the love of learning, immaculate classroom systems, urgent and thorough collaborative planning, mind-boggling consistency in teacher action and a sense of belonging to a team working towards a shared vision. My classroom was on a path of transformation. Starting September, everything started going downhill. My thought partner, co-teacher and friend quit the school team. My stable class that was on its tipping point of its journey went through three configuration changes. And while all this was happening, I got married and chased my dream job to further take my focus away from the classroom.  If I look back at the last few months, ...

I have little time left with my kids and I have been thinking about what to focus my energy on. There is a huge gap in academic coverage but I don't want to run the risk of covering much with low mastery because it will simply get undone over time. There has been a drop in values demonstrated in class without teacher reinforcement - especially team work, urgency and ownership - that is worrisome. These values certainly need to be restored. At the same time, the children are also falling behind on their extra curricular plans as well as on their journey toward self-awareness. In 30 days, what can I do to re-instill the sense of belief that a great vision is worth striving for. How do I make them maintain that belief even when I am gone? It is not the largest tree but the tree whose roots grow the deepest that will withstand the rough weather. I think I know the answer. Values and a deeper sense of reflective practice are the two most crucial elements to strengthen the roots. That...

16th January 2016 Dear Metamorphians, I have 87 days left with you. Typically, we make around 1000 choices in a day. In these 87 days, we have over 87000 choices each of us can make. You have the choice to listen and learn or talk and waste your and your friend's time. You have the choice to work hard everyday by doing your classwork, homework, group-work and preparation for procedures or to be lazy and give up on your dreams. You have the choice to come to school everyday and celebrate your remaining time in Metamorphia or sleep at home. You have the choice to eat well and stay healthy or eat street food and fall ill. You have the choice to ask a question or to remain confused and lost. You have the choice to work together as a team to help everyone achieve their goals or work against each other so that no one achieve their goals. You have the choice to show respect and earn some respect or hurt someone and get hurt in return.  You have the choice to react when someone p...

I often have tell students in class to show self control when they have a strong urge to retaliate when someone hits them or abuses them. "It is only fair," they say, "that a person gets what he deserves." I ask them to express their feelings politely rather than create more animosity. Telling someone "I feel angry when you hit me" is a far better way than hitting them back. It may work if the person guilty of the act is conscientious. It gives the the chance to correct himself, to apologize, to come clean. "Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance." After repeated interventions, most children do understand. On some occasions, I am asked to arbitrate on the matter. In that case, I use a system of a classroom trial, where there are witnesses on both sides being asked to present their view. There are pre-defined rules and consequences in the classroom that the students are aware of. The consequence is not differentiated between...

Seeing the new fellows who have joined our school team, I am reminded of how we started our journey in Jafari. I am reminded of the long path we have walked since that day of 24th June when we first met my kids. Looking at the journey of the fellowship from an everyday micro perspective did not make the growth easily apparent. However, when I compare my classroom now to how it was last year and when I compare our instruction style as compared to our incoming batch, I realize somethings have changed. I am much more perceptive of the needs of my children and how to reach out to them. Not only that, I am aware of how to convert the insights of perception to instruction in the classroom. I see how my teacher presence has improved significantly, how I am a lot calmer in the classroom now and as a result, a lot smoother in executing my plan. I understand the need to spend time investing my children in what I believe is good for them. Neither academic, values or exposure are complete...

I was happy after school yesterday.  Mahek and Aliya were conducting extra classes for kids. They were helping people learn math and complete their homework.  Despite there being no teacher in class, the kids continued working independently following all the rules.  No other students from 6th or 7th who stayed back showed such self control.  It was the first sign of my  Metamorphians being the best class in not only the grade but the whole school. Studness is happening.  I can't wait to see them grow and learn next year.

As is evident from my last blog post, I have been having a tough time in the classroom for the last few weeks. To break the monotony, my co-fellows (Harry and Rajesh) and I decided to take our kids on a field trip on Thursday. We left immediately after school to save time. On board the train, we debriefed the kids on where we were going and what they were going to do to make this a memorable experience. Our first stop was the St. Xavier’s College , Harry’s alma mater. Harry’s friends were kind enough to show the kids around the college. The kids showed tremendous enthusiasm in greeting and meeting the collegians as well as explore the campus. Some of them for the first time saw a grand old college building, a chemistry lab, a fully functioning library, preparations for a college festival and a canteen where college goers ‘chillmarofy’ when they are free. We all grabbed a quick lunch and then moved on to our next destination, the 321 school. The 321 school is first in what wil...

I have started making my kids write journals. I have also been pushing them to share their entries with their classmates. Most kids feel shy and reluctant in sharing openly, worrying about being teased by their classmates. To set up the correct example, I make it a point to read my journal to them - unedited uncut and with complete honesty. After all, we are one family and we need to learn to share with each other. Considering the events of the last few days, I didn't have time to write my journal - but I did update my blog. In the last diary session, I told them I will read my blog post instead of my diary. I explained to them what a blog post is and they were amazed that you could write something which anyone in the world could read. I was in two minds initially about reading the post, considering it was about the circle of death. However, I realized these children have probably seen more death at such a young age than I ever will - so I went  on to read it. Usually my chil...

Shofiya is one of the brighter students in our class. She is quick-witted, hard working and capable of making the right choices. Last Wednesday, Shofiya's father gave up his long fight against brain tumour. Being her teachers, we went to meet her as soon as we found out. As soon as Shofiya saw her friends and teachers, she came out of the house. She met Akriti, her class teacher and my colleague, and gave her a hug - and the moment she did - tears ran down her face like water from a broken dam. She held her tight for nearly 5 minutes. After she had calmed down, she came up to me. As much as I would have loved to give her a warm hug, I didn't considering the sentiments of the community. While she walked up to me, my mind was searching for the right thing to tell her. I thought I will start with "It will all be okay." No, it won't after having lost the only bread winner in the family of 5. I instead told her "This is a difficult time for your family and you....

Ahmed is a student in my class. He is a tiny kid with an infectious smile. He has a penchant for getting into trouble and hurting himself. Being hyperactive doesn't help his cause. As much as he is a distraction while teaching, I have not lowered my expectations of him in the class when it comes to behaviour. I have invested a lot of time in talking to him and his mother to build a connect. This Wednesday was the first day he showed a strong improvement in his task adherence in class and I was happy that something was finally working. Having met his mother a few times, I know he comes from the lowest of the the low income households that my students belong to. He lives in a small rented temporary accommodation with his parents and two sisters - one elder and one younger. His father makes hats for a living. His father's income is not regular and strictly governed by the off take in shops. His mother helps his father when demand peaks so that they can maximize their income. My...

It was a typical day at school. After finishing the last lesson and seeing the children off, I went to the Principal's cabin to sign out for the day. When I was there, I realized something was amiss. Two set of parents had been called and there was a frantic hunt on in the neighbourhood for their children. From the conversation between the Principal, parents and supervisor, I figured out what had transpired. One of our kids in a TFI classroom was thrown in the sewage drain flowing behind the school. What was more shocking was that he was thrown in the drain by none other than two of our school's senior students from grade X. While the ones who committed the crime escaped then, they were soon identified and reported to the school authorities. I had reached the scene while this hunt was on. The children guilty of the act were brought to the school by their relatives. The conversation between parents, school staff and these students started on an interrogatory tone. They were...