Whispering Shadow

I can't imagine how much more difficult the last two years would have been without each of you. You have been with me through each trial and tribulation and through every success and jubilation. You are the incredible 11 who I have had the fortune of working with during the 2 years of the fellowship - my co-fellows, my co-travelers and my friends. I am writing this post to deeply express my gratitude to you. Pritish,  I worked more closely with you than anyone else in the team. We had our backs against the wall with the children barely showing any progress at the end of year 1. We put our heads together to envision a classroom like Jafari hadn't seen in a long time. We saw a part of that vision become a reality, even though the reality was short lived. We were able to drive a sense of focus and a love of learning in many kids - sparks of which are still alive in many of the kids. We were consistent in our high expectations, which has forever made me believe that a...

This week has been one of the toughest weeks of my life for many reasons. The good news is it is over. I need to adapt to the changed circumstances and quickly regain the momentum. Before I get lost in the craziness of planning and execution, I want to spend a few minutes looking at the bright side of the week that went by. I am thankful to Pritish for reaching out and considering me a true friend. I am thankful for how Metamorphians saw this week through. This week gave me a chance to see the independence which my kids have achieved. They were incredible. In a week when I was lost and lessons were haphazard, they held the class together on their own, showing tremendous patience with me and a lot of grace under pressure in handling the class. I owe them a celebration. I am thankful that our 7th grade team is reunited. We had parted for the sake of consistency and connect with the kids, but circumstances have brought us back together. As Neerja and I were thinking about the new s...

Inheriting a history of repeated failure, Yet achieving the impossible in his tenure, Wounded in battle, but standing tall in the war. What is this man made of? Completing a journey of a million hurdles, While his own demons he handles, Tired on the path, but always in motion. What is that man made of? Making a voice heard in a jungle of chaos, Speaking with courage for a worthy cause, Choosing the right, rather than the easy path. What is this man made of? Remaining calm in the face of calamity, Holding back anger as a reflex to stupidity, Never showing frustration, but reason What is the man made of? Melting hearts that were frozen since ages, Lending a ear to the ones in dark cages, Free falling often, yet being a pillar of strength  What is that man made of? Working without support nor appreciation, Never boastful of his contribution, Of a royal stature, yet living in a humble abode What is that man made of? ...

Dear Friend, I am glad I found you when I was about to get lost in the crowd. You were not a familiar face then. You gave me a sense of comfort nonetheless. I didn't need a hundred people to talk to, just one person who would listen. You obliged. I didn't know how big a favour you were doing to me then, but I now know what it meant to me. Your arguments taught me how to reason. Your voice calmed me down when I had let turbulence prevail within. You used words I often would not want to hear, because you would rather have me hear them from you than a stranger. You showed me the right way when I was at crossroads. Through our conversations, you opened doors to worlds which I never thought could have existed inside me. I would not have known myself had it not been for you. Thank you for being the mirror to my soul. There were times I was demanding, times I was rude and times I over did the sarcasm. I have had reasons, well, most of the times. All said and done, I had never intende...

Like a typical management student, I will begin this post on my first year at a b-school with statistics. In the past academic year at MDI, I have met and interacted with nearly 600 students who were strangers to me before I came here. Apart from students, I must have attended at least 3 dozen sessions by the acclaimed and not-so-acclaimed executives, senior managers and achievers who have come and spoken about why they are doing the best thing on earth. I have given 43 exams, 86 quizzes and submitted at least 20 projects. I have seen two placement cycles of 630 students. Three festivals and six loud, crazy parties have passed by. Been a part of two elections and become secretary of a club in the latter one. Lastly and most importantly, I am sure I have slept only 4 hours a night on 75% of the days (not verified, could be higher!). The frantic pace and the shocking numbers are perhaps the least pronounced change in my life. What has changed from my engineering years is, the rate of bon...

My friend joined nearly 50 groups in a span of one day. I have been joining random groups on Facebook too but 50 in a day seemed to be like a landmark figure. Some of the names of the group are interesting, amusing and have an instant connection with what's on my mind, which seems to be the sole reason of joining the groups. Here's a list of some of those which my close friends and/or I have joined (keeping the names as they originally are, so please excuse the language, grammar, et al) in no specific order: 1)I Can Type On My Mobile Without Looking At The Keypad. 2)Sometimes ALL you need is your best friend. 3)Drawing with your finger on fogged glass. 4)FLINCHING IN BED COZ YOU HAD A DREAM YOU WERE FALLING... 5)'I don't bloody care how old the song is! I like it. So shut up!' 6)I'm double majoring in Napping and Facebook with a minor in Procrastination. 7)No I'm not lying, but when you look at me like that, how can I not smile? 8)I Have Died Over 147 Times ...

What is your story? A little birdie On a stormy day Separated from her flock Lost her way The time was difficult The current was strong Life came to a stand still Everything seemed wrong She flew aimlessly In the wind and thunder Whether she would live She questioned deep down under In eagerness she wondered She looked here and there There was neither roof nor cover Available anywhere Weather beaten and heart broken She trembled in the rain Yet help she didn’t seek Coz others, she didn’t want to strain As time passed So did the storm A ray of sun shine appeared It made her soul warm She woke up to a blue sky Wondering how she survived It could not have been luck There were other forces that had worked Prayers of friends Their bribe to the Gods To protect her and help her Against nature’s swords A few days later Those winds had turned The little lost birdie Had recovered and returned

One of my best friends is someone who I didn't meet for over a year into our friendship. For the people that we were, it was an oddity that we became such close friends over what was just a series of bytes exchanged over the net (I have one more reason why they call it the net, because you can catch some great friends here). Series of bytes is an understatement though. We literally shared our lives, or so I would like to believe. We knew what was happening with our common and non-common friends, our families, on the work front, inside our head, outside our head, whether emotionally, materialistically, spiritually and otherwise. Our wavelengths matched perfectly. Our attitudes were similar. We were both rational, ultra-liberal, thinkers and believers in reason and the merit of work. It was too much of a coincidence. We would ask each other if we were for real. The friendship seemed too good to be true. As a consequence, we would wonder if it would be the same when we met, whether th...

It's been ages since I posted on Whispering Shadow (barring the one public announcement below). Over the past two weeks, I have started writing posts but ended up not completing them. It completely reflects the state of mind in which I have been - distracted, like a cranky baby. Toys, books, pictures, lights, food - nothing works for the infant. He keeps crying. He is inconsolable. Others don't know what he wishes because he cannot speak. Yet he himself is not wholly aware of what is pulling him in so many different directions. It is like a cause-less effect, an endless cycle. An emotional stew has been brewing over the past 10 days, the ingredients of which have been the joy due to celebration, the ecstacy of acheivement, the satisfaction of great food, the faith in destiny, the relief of having lived up to expectations, the anxiety and freedom of handling your work yourself all alone, the monotony of routine, the instability due to chaos. It's literally a jungle in the...

To gate crash at your home on every birthday, getting spare cakes so that you can do more than just eat them. To expect you to listen to them even when they are at their worst and you are not at your best.  To turn tell you how monstrous you looked in that flouroscent shirt. "You should have instead worn the floral one! " To confide in you how cute they found that girl who just passed by to be which was exactly what you were going to tell them. To give you advice, free and unlimited, sometimes unnecessary.   To wish you luck a million times, saying "You will be just fine" before you put yourself to a real test in this cruel world. You even get "Good Luck" surprise parties. To ask you for treats on every occassion. Your birthday. Treat! You won a prize. Treat! You shaved. Treat! To reinstate faith when you think you are being sucked in a black hole. "No it's ok. They won't touch your arm. They will only chop your finger" To fuel your imagi...

Everything seemed to be at a low a fornight back. The economy, national security, political will, and on a personal notes, work, creativity, enthusiasm and socializing. However, this week gave me many reasons to smile. Hurray!! For starters, I am no longer benched. I am on a big-big project with a fun-fun team and at least for now, enjoying the lack of forced idleness. Those who have been there and done that tell me its early days and the work pressure will soon catch up, but I still feel it's better than letting your usually logical mind catch rust.  I also had my much anticipated trip to Malshej and Bhimashankar last weekend. Though not as high on the excitement and fun quotient, it was a needed break from the monotony that had begun to set in. Moreover, I found time to spend with my lately neglected camera (yeah, it is fine now). Two whole hours early in the morning, clicking mountains, grass, streams, animals, trees and my naughtly little cousin. (I will have to be really smitt...

My new office location, to put it in one word, is far, so far that we have given christened it ''Kalapani", which was a colonial era prison on the Andaman and Nicobar islands. The fastest we reach there through any combination of means of transport (one is not enough) is 1 hours and 15 minutes, but then we live in a world where traffic could get stuck under a flyover long enough for you to complete your grocery purchases and return to your car without the need to park even park it. Sometimes, I wonder if a passerby would look at it as a road, or a parking lot! Since we are sincere employees and we love our work, we put up with all the hurdles that the travelling poses in our path and tirelessly keep looking for new alternatives to reach our final destination. Today, we tried a car, no actually a jeep, Maddy's jeep. And if you think we only drove to work, think again. I bet you could not have made your first drive to work so memorable as this. Continue reading to know w...

I haven't visited the Shadows in a while because I was visiting some place else. A tiny sleepy hill station on the outskirts of Mumbai (don't know if 180Km qualifies as outskirts) was our destination for a well deserved post exam holiday. It is called Bhandardara. We went there to have fun and so we did to the fullest - climbing the tallest peak of Maharashtra, trekking among the clouds, catching frogs, going shoe-hunting when it is pitch dark, playing the most hilarious game of Bluff, getting caught in fog so thick that it could hide an elephant, picnicking near waterfalls and much more.Nonetheless, I am not going to make this post a journal. I am going to describe three moments which made me feel at peace with myself like never before. The first one came when we were sitting at a step on our trek up the Kalsubhai summit. We were half way up having crossed rickety ladders and slippery trails. At this point, I decided to take a break. I sat on a rock in admiration of the view. ...

There has rarely been a time in my life where I have had such diverse and confusing emotions as I have today. I was so looking forward to the end of college, but yet, when I face the last day of my college life this Saturday, I don’t want it to end. I never loved my college. In fact, the balance of indifference had tilted towards a sense of disdain to the ways of its functioning. So what has been this reason for the change? Is it the attachment with teachers? May be with their quirks, but that’s not a strong enough point. Is it the activities of the college? Well, whatever I loved about those activities has ceased to exist, so that can’t be the reason. I guess it’s the people, my peers, my pals. I have spent four years with them and during this period, they knowingly or unknowingly have become my habit. I am in awe of the intelligence of some and hate the sycophancy of others. I enjoy the humour and respect the humility of a few. In every way, each one’s idiosyncrasy and/or beha...

When I joined VESIT, I used to wonder, if it was where I wanted to be. The feelings were only intensified because of what I felt about the class I belonged too, rather didn’t belong too. I was just there because of my chosen field of preference but wasn't particularly fond of my class. I was Cultural In-charge during Utsav 2005 and to make a frank confession, it was sheer disappointment. Not many came forth for the cause of the class and there were barely a few blue dots (for participation) in the standings table at the end of the day, so winning was only a far-fetched thought. I was disheartened. Four years have gone by and luckily for me thing have changed and we all have brought down the barriers which separated one group from the other. Of course their have been many catalysts for bonding- sharing assignments, people realizing the futility of labs and involving themselves in more round table conferences, the joint stand on postponing test dates, movie outings past exams, consol...

What do you do if a stalker who had lost your trail comes back into your life? What do you do if he knows where you stay exactly and has just dropped a gift at your doorstep on your birthday? Well, something of this sort happened to my PAL. I will call her PAL itself for ease of reference throughout the rest of this blog. It was her 20th birthday. As is usually the case with people celebrating their birthdays, she too received a number of birthday greetings. On one of this calls, she heard an unrecognizable voice and that's when her ordeal began. Caller: Wish you many many happy returns of the day! May you have all the happiness, joy and success you have ever wanted. PAL: Thank you. May I know who this is? C: May you get everything you desire. P: Ok, thanks a lot but stop. Please introduce yourself. C: Isn't it enuf to know that the feelings are heart felt? P ( getting a little irritated): I think the feelings will mean a lot more if I know who the person is. C: If I tell y...

There is rarely a time when you hear the alarm ring at 4:00 AM in the morning and wake up to do something more than just turning it off. At least for night birds like me, it is pretty close to impossible. Exceptions to this case are times when you have something extremely exciting up your sleeve and the thought drives all the lethargy and sleep away. On last Monday, it was truly the latter because on that day, Matheran beckoned. Yes, I was up and raring to go at the break of dawn. Ting-tong, "CST se Karjat jaane waali 5:53 ki dheemi local platform kramank ek par aa rahi hai." In no time, we found ourselves at Ghatkopar station, waiting for our train. Wait, when did I become we? My bunch of trekkers included a geek G, a topper T, a bubbly chirpy animal (strictly metaphorical) B, the youngest youngling Y, the mean M (Hindu astrology) and a makeshift Supandi that was, S. Here on I will only use the alphabets to refer to my fellow trekkers, in case I am forced to, not for rea...

We reached Dasturi chowk , the entry point to the hill station. Whoever told us it was 6 km should have been shot dead because the sign board there showed Neral was 9 km downhill. We were so hungry that at that time, the only thing that was on our mind was lunch, so we delayed the shooting bit to a while later. We found a reasonably decent restaurant and got ourselves something to eat. Dal fry and jeera rice never tasted so good before. All the time we ate, we had to be on the lookout for the monkeys, because they were all over the place and trying to find a way into the restaurant. We were over-conscious after having under-estimated Mawali. With our stomachs full, we reconsidered our plans with regards to what were we going to do while in Matheran keeping in mind the time we had on our hands. We decided we will walk it up to Charlotte lake which was another 4 km from where we currently where. This time we took the mini-train track leading to bazaar peth and from there on the jungle...

That is perhaps all I heard. I saw THE light that night. All this while I was walking back from a friend's place, with a bunch of four pals, fooling around and cracking jokes that matched the level of insanity of a drunk person, virtually! It had been a great evening and the transition to normality was bound to take more time. On the way to our destination we had to cross this two-way 4 lane highway. In everyday terms, it's no big deal, and it was not very different that night. With our senses on high alert, we began crossing the road. Lane 1, 2 and 3 passed smoothly. Jack crossed lane 4 too, without much of a hiccup, well almost! I followed him, at my own regal pace, assuming the car that was around 150 meters away to slow down a bit while I walk past. Sam was about to begin a while later. Iyer held his line. I was about to receive the shock of my life. The car never slowed down. The driver only flickered his lights in a frenzy. The blaring of the horn just grew louder as ever...

I have been leading an awfully mundane existence off late. Every time I open my diary, I end up writing a nothing special and send it back to where it belongs. Today, I decided to try hard, and churn up a diary entry. I ended up writing the same thing again. I have been wondering where the 24 hours disappear everyday. I turn to my blog in hopelessness. The inspiration being my the huge list of daily missed calls . It's good to have a big social circle in a city, but it's tough to keep in touch with everyone in it. Especially, in cases like mine, where friends are the only people you have to fall back on, it's all the more important to stay connected. It's shocking the number of times they trying getting in touch with me, and even more shocking is the number of times I miss out on the good, refreshing conversations. This "Nothing Much" schedule should on the contrary give me more time to keep up with my pals but wonder where does the time go? I have no defenc...